An unlikely introvert

It's me, hi, I'm the introvert, it's me

Maybe it's because I'm a Leo Rising but people often look a little confused when I state that I am an introvert. I get it. I am what you would call a professional extrovert. In my professional life, be it my 15 years of modelling or all things ILLUMINATION; I found an untapped spark of confidence and energy in groups of people. Something I'd usually only experience once I got really comfortable with people. What I loved the most about modelling was sharing stories and connecting deeply with people. That was the initial ping towards my career path. I love stories; they open our hearts and remind us that in this great cosmic scheme of it all; we are all more alike, than not. ILLUMINATION is me, you and us sharing what moves us all in a magnetic fields that bends time and space for a greater, more inspired and true human experience. But I am still an introvert. In 2015 I was wildly soul searching, looking for practices that could help connect me deeper with myself and my inner landscape and unleash the creative pulse I knew was laying dormant within me. 

I signed up to an acting class, Lucid Acting, said to connect your body, mind and soul to develop your characters. I stepped into the low ceilinged midtown building, mortified. For an hour we were moving in formation, expressing emotions and we ended the whole act with a sharing circle. I was for the most part paralysed with fear, and the only person not sharing what had moved me during the class. Quite frankly I wasn't moved much because I seemed to be in a perpetual state of freeze. When the teacher asked: “What does it feel like being the only one not sharing?” I was flushed with shame and swore never to come back. When I stayed in the Amazon Jungle for a month, the hardest part was not spending almost 3 weeks in total isolation – in complete silence and with no eye contact living in a small jungle hut. No, what got me shaking was the aftermath of sharing my experience with my fellow travellers. 

5 years ago my life altered drastically when I was gifted a pair of tickets to a Kundalini Yoga Festival. Standing in front of the studio before the opening class, I once again found myself frightened facing so many unknown people. I saw no other way than to squeeze my body through the crowd and place myself smack down front row of the stage. This was the wrinkle in time in which I met my Spiritual Teacher, Guru Jagat. For years I'd heard an inner call to find my teacher and I knew she was to be a woman. I'd traced down every local witch google had on file, but no one would take me in as an apprentice. In the moment I met Guru Jagat, I knew, through fear and crowds, that my intuition had served me. “You should do teachers training” She said while we were shaking hands. A week later I signed up for said teachers training. I knew in my heart, not knowing what the future would bring, that I had to spend as much time with Guru Jagat as possible. For 2 years I travelled around Europe and the US not missing a beat of this big cosmic ocean, that indeed had me dive in and out of timelines. Every time I had to face my fear of large crowds until at one the unknown grew kin and each time I felt a little more at home. 

My introverted nature was also a roadblock to even imagining hosting retreats; 

I simply didn't think I could do it. To this I am Kala and Linda forever grateful to be my loyal team members, seeing what's possible beyond the reef of limitation: ILLUMINATION!

As we were bringing THE VACATION into reality, it turned out I as an introvert had vital and lived-in intel for how to create a space that felt whole and holy, sweet and deep for all, extroverts as introverts. I'd often hear how much pressure people seem to feel, myself included, showing up for retreats or other immersive gatherings.  It's only natural, that bigger social gatherings trigger our programs yet I knew I wanted to create a retreat that felt true — and like an exhale. 

Come as you are.

I wanted to create a retreat that felt as much as a family vacation (sans the drama) as a deeply mystical experience. We need both. We need the profound inner journey as we need our coffee by the pool. We need prayers and we need a disco. Just like we need both introverts and extroverts. The Marqí is full of nooks and crannies for effortless retreating; we have quiet mornings with Kurt Vile while we eat our breakfast and journal in the sun. My classes are dynamic as they are deep; Kundalini Yoga is at times a shamanic journey when practiced in a groups. During the day we read, we nap, we explore, we chat and we drink the best oat cappuccino — and the owner, Mikkel, bakes us scones. 

Something so beautifully happens when we have the courage to merge and mix in the human swirl pool of life. Every person carry such precious gifts embedded in their human tapestry. It is in the reflection of each other that we can witness these gifts and reflect the beauty into every area of our lives. 

Every time I'm on THE VACATION my heart swells. This is a place where you come to meet yourself and your fellow travellers. Witnessing the many instruments of our humanness attune to it's own unique frequency creates the most punk-rock-poetic orchestra — and everyones contribution is important, impactful and meaningful <3